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A love lost

17 May

Sorry it’s been a while since I have last blogged as my life has become increasingly busy & I have not had the inspiration to share much.  This evening and the better part of the past week, much has been on my mind as I have reflected about things past, future, and present.  I have thought about steps taken & steps missed.  Most importantly I have thought about the ever elusive emotion & shared experience – Love

A most of  you that personally know me: I have a tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve; Perhaps even to a fault.  However the past 2 years have been something of a roller coaster as I have embraced, carried, fell, lost, & regained love.  We are all familiar with the timeless quote it’s “better to have loved and lost, than to have not loved at all”  Is that really so? If so, explain to me how?

I tought I found a person worth building something with and unfortunately that person wanted me in the mold of  something past.  Now that I reflect, I do not believe that person really believed in ME & my capacity to grow; so SHE opted out.  But that experience has only anchored my belief that relationships are give /take, forgiving, compromising, & most importantly selflessness.  Embracing ones imperfections is what really makes the continuity of a relationship; and it is heart breaking when some always see others but ignore their own.  From that experience I have grown and become a better man.  Despite the unfortunate dynamic that I  am left with today….in losing THAT love… I gained perspective, clarity, peace, purpose, & framework of the future I seek in love.

While I’m sorrowful that said female has opted out of even having a real friendship; I keep her in prayer & good graces.  The funny part is that I desire nothing from her but honest friendship…As all of my  peers, friends, and even some of the hers agree I did the right thing & have been more than accommodating.  I have found peace in my heart & created a space for a special dynamic the next time it presents itself.  For all the lessons learned and growth; there is an almost 2 year window of my short life that I will never get back.  As to the people say it’s okay to take the “L” obviously they do not appreciate time as much as I do.

Talk about irony?

3 Jun

This has got to be some sort of perverse irony, after 40 years of marriage, Al & Tipper Gore decide to split. Yet the man he served as Vice President for Bill Clinton, remains married to Hillary despite his philandering & public affair. Talk about irony? In today’s society how much does faithfulness really matter?

Miss America?

20 May

I still can’t get over Rima Fikah winning the Miss USA contest. She is Lebanese and of Muslim descent!   Having been placed on a pedestal that is quintessentially American it reinforces that anything is possible in this country. Perhaps one shouldn’t be so stunned since we do have a Black President, but I would be remiss to omit the prevailing stereotype towards Muslim Americans. Her crown is further evidence that each day we move closer to perfecting our union.

Hey Mama …

9 May


Each year in the beginning of May we celebrate the importance and love of all mother’s in this world.  For me, mother’s day takes on a greater significance as mine is a pillar of strength, love , and perseverance.  She has been a single/divorced mom of 4 boys, a 2x cancer survivor, an immigrant, and someone who has had more than her fair share of trials and tribulations.  Each step along the way she has been our rock and biggest supporter perhaps even to a fault.  I truly can’t think of a stronger person with that kind of inner strength. All of the sacrifices that she has made for us, just so that my brothers and I would have a better life than she has had.

Let me reiterate I don’t know too many people who can start fresh in a new country, beat cancer twice, go through a divorce, deal with a dead beat father, raise 4 boys, go back to college in her early 40’s, and still come out a winner!

That withstanding, my brothers have not always made things easy for her neither. As 2 of my brothers have strayed into different sorts of trouble often and have made some terrible life decisions. Yet, she still loves them with an unwavering and steadfast spirit.  Don’t get me wrong, she and I often bump heads as we see the world differently and have strong views and approaches to life.  Despite our differences, I know she means well and her actions come from a place of love.

She  is literally my hero in reality and a lesser person would have folded under her circumstances.  I would be nothing without her unyielding support and love.  Every bit of who I am today and successes I may have tomorrow will be directly attributed to her efforts.  She is a queen who has never had a “day off”, I just pray that one day I may develop the inner strength and resolve that she has.  In my eyes she is the greatest woman and you can’t tell me nothing! Without her I would be lost, with her I am great!

Mommy I love you and thank you!

Good Hair

6 May

I finally got to watch Chris Rock’s documentary “Good Hair” and it was hilarous. It is a must see!  There are definetely some take aways that left a lasting impression. My question to black women is why try so hard for such an unatural look?  Concurrently, I also swelled with a sense of admiration for how much time, energy, and money women put into the maintenance of “good hair”.  However my Nubian queens your secret is out and white women have taken to “tracks” & “weave”.   Women of all shades more power to you to becuase I would go crazy if I spent that kind of time & energy on my hair.

“Nothin’ On You”

16 Mar

This record has really grown on in the past few weeks and the chorus reflects the vulnerability of the songs message.  Any guy that has ever been “in love” can to speak on a moment where no other female out there can compare to what she brings to your life.  Despite the “friendships”, “looks”, “cat calls”, “numbers”, “dancing” … she’s the standalone object of it all. The opposite of contentment is comparison, with that being said they got “nothin’ on you”.

… The panties…

4 Mar

Mid-day fashion alert…

Ladies, if you are wearing tight pants, leggings, or spandex…Granny panties are unacceptable!

If I can see the outline of your panties through your pants it is a problem! Granny panties defeat the whole purpose of your sexy form fitting outfit & its unnerving. Its the equivalent of a man wearing a sharp suit with dirty kicks or having coffee stains on his tie.

For example: It’s the moment in passing where a female looks great from the front, but then I break my neck to check out her donkey & see the padded layer of bunched panties or mumps in the spandex… That moment evokes a classic sour face of disappontment. It is an extreme turnoff and tacky. I say this with all seriousness, no dudes want to get in them pants if they’re going to have to dive into layers. Invest in some sexy underwear!