A love lost

17 May

Sorry it’s been a while since I have last blogged as my life has become increasingly busy & I have not had the inspiration to share much.  This evening and the better part of the past week, much has been on my mind as I have reflected about things past, future, and present.  I have thought about steps taken & steps missed.  Most importantly I have thought about the ever elusive emotion & shared experience – Love

A most of  you that personally know me: I have a tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve; Perhaps even to a fault.  However the past 2 years have been something of a roller coaster as I have embraced, carried, fell, lost, & regained love.  We are all familiar with the timeless quote it’s “better to have loved and lost, than to have not loved at all”  Is that really so? If so, explain to me how?

I tought I found a person worth building something with and unfortunately that person wanted me in the mold of  something past.  Now that I reflect, I do not believe that person really believed in ME & my capacity to grow; so SHE opted out.  But that experience has only anchored my belief that relationships are give /take, forgiving, compromising, & most importantly selflessness.  Embracing ones imperfections is what really makes the continuity of a relationship; and it is heart breaking when some always see others but ignore their own.  From that experience I have grown and become a better man.  Despite the unfortunate dynamic that I  am left with today….in losing THAT love… I gained perspective, clarity, peace, purpose, & framework of the future I seek in love.

While I’m sorrowful that said female has opted out of even having a real friendship; I keep her in prayer & good graces.  The funny part is that I desire nothing from her but honest friendship…As all of my  peers, friends, and even some of the hers agree I did the right thing & have been more than accommodating.  I have found peace in my heart & created a space for a special dynamic the next time it presents itself.  For all the lessons learned and growth; there is an almost 2 year window of my short life that I will never get back.  As to the people say it’s okay to take the “L” obviously they do not appreciate time as much as I do.

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